Melissa, known to many of her friends as “Mercy,” invites you to spend a few minutes checking out her random thoughts on “Mercy’s Musings.”

Check out her first novel, “The Stained Stilettos: A Luce and Wilde Hollywood Mystery” along with some of her entertainment columns at “Melissa J. L. Smith’s Writer’s Room.”

Also visit “Joseph Sciuto’s Book Corner” to see the latest novels by Melissa’s favorite person (and husband) author Joseph Sciuto.

Melissa considers herself a “pragmatic dreamer” (as illustrated in the two stories below), and believes that if you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.

If you are wondering why the two middle initials, there are over 25 Melissa Smiths on IMDb, but only one Melissa J. L. Smith. Much easier to remember than
Melissa Smith XXV.

If you enjoy the next two stories, feel free to check out the tab for “Mercy’s Musings” on the menu.

Dream Until Your Dreams Come True

For those of you under a certain age, that’s the the line from a song. I am a dreamer and not afraid to admit it. I’m a woman who works in what traditionally has been a “man’s business.” Things have changed over the years, but I can’t help but wonder, “Where would I be if not for those who went before my generation?” My extraordinary husband always insists that I fight for my dreams.

I’ve been fighting for my ideas since I was 13. It was -15 degrees, and girls had to wear dresses at my school. Considering that it was a public school, some of us more radical females pondered why we had to schlep to school in wool skirts and boots (yes, we walked), while the guys had on those nice long pants. So we wrote a bill that was submitted to our state’s Congress. (Commonwealth, actually, which should narrow it down for those of you who are geographically inclined.)

We submitted the radical idea that if “Johnny’s” parents and “Mary’s” parents paid the same amount of school taxes, then “Mary” should be afforded the same right to fend off the cold weather as Johnny. Perhaps this is ridiculous thinking in a time where school kids wear everything from uniforms to tank tops to Prada, but things change (with help).

Long-since closed down, my high school was built 11 years after the Civil War. Think about it. It was built before cars, telephones and refrigerators. Radiator heat worked sporadically as the old boiler tried to breathe life into the too-tall rooms with the frosted windows. (Nobody knew from air conditioning.) We all sat there, shaking, as we tried to write by hand.

I’m sure this makes me sound ancient to the 20-somethings, but I’m not. So much has progressed in my lifetime that I feel fortunate. Our school, no matter how old, was loved. Our chattering teeth framed the words that we brought with us to the fight of equality. We enjoyed our “win” against clothing discrimination by wearing wool pants in the winter and jeans in the spring. That one outlandish idea that a bunch of teenage girls could change the rules taught us that we had the potential to do anything. We believed that then, and we believe it now…because we have.

When quite young, I told my mom that I wanted to direct television. She told me that it wasn’t a reasonable expectation, and that I should become a pharmacist. Then I saw a TV series, “Dark Shadows”, that was directed by a woman, Lela Swift. I knew my mom was wrong because of Lela Swift.

Mom was trying to protect me from disappointment. My mom played semi-professional baseball (yes, like in LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN) and could hit a line drive over the center field fence well into her 50s. She could operate a crane and take a car down to the chassis and put it back together. But in the small-town job market, most of the jobs for her were beautician, seamstress, teacher and secretary. (She went with “beautician”.)

My mom never learned to type, because she was obstinate, I think. Mom never would get to play shortstop for the Dodgers, though I think they would have beaten the Yankees in the World Series more often had she done so. She had her dreams.

My dad taught me how to write. We watched sports on weekends, walked to the library twice every week to check out three books per trip, and went to the store that sold comic books and westerns every Saturday. (I was the comic book collector.) And he let me go to work for the newspaper when I was thirteen.

Daddy knew that there was a path to acceptance for those who were different, and he was determined for me to find it. Through hard work, learning and asking questions, he overcame his life as a kid with no shoes. He plowed before he walked 3 miles through the woods to school, and he went on to become the editor of a small newspaper.

He brought factories to an economically-depressed town and hired women and minorities to fill jobs vacated by men. He was writing editorials the day before he died, and I think he would have continued to change the world for the better had he not gotten cancer and died young. Not bad for a guy who was teased because he never owned a new pair of shoes until he was issued a pair by the military.

Like many others, my father did not fit into the cookie-cutter mold. He never strove to be “normal.” He strove to attain more than “normal.” He had faith in himself and in others and devoted himself to making this a better place for all of us.

“Normal” is an elusive idea. Kids in one neighborhood may be viewed as potential gang members, and some will conform to the idea. Others will run from being typecast erroneously and grow up to be leaders. They will be the ones who destroy the expectations of others and replace them with new expectations…that all of us have the ability to achieve marvelous things.

When I was young, kids from my Commonwealth were thought to be the Clampetts. Instead, they were dreamers who grew up to be Ashley Judd, George Clooney, and Diane Sawyer. My home state boast famous writers, singers physicians, astronauts, heads of business and philanthropists. All dared to dream.

So, this advice is for everyone who wants a “little more”. Never give up. Don’t accept the restrictions that society may try to place upon you. Don’t conform. Be yourself. Go cure cancer. My family, though not traditional, gave me values and a sense that I could do anything, even work in a man’s profession. If your family doesn’t instill those thoughts in you, find a mentor who does, or trust your instincts. You don’t have to be “normal”.

That “Dark Shadows” director, Lela Swift, whom I was fortunate to meet many years after, was surprised that she had been such an inspiration. Like Lela Swift, there are those of us who have had to fight a bit harder to break the molds and to do the unexpected, but it has been worth it.

If you’re a child, a teen, a 20-something or a senior citizen, keep fighting. My profession is now is full of successful women who never gave up. Doing the unexpected is available to all of us. It’s never easy to live a dream or break a mold, but it is well worth it.

If you don’t believe me, ask Johnny Depp, a native of my Commonwealth. Inspired by his single mom, a waitress who believed that her son had the potential to do anything, Depp produced and starred in the big screen “Dark Shadows”, and had the original cast appear in cameos. A self-professed dreamer, his career has been so much more than his third-grade classmates would have imagined.

Believe in yourself. When “that boss” tells you that they don’t want you in the Television Academy, that you should join “that ‘wife’ group,” (he was thinking of WIF…Women In Film), prove him wrong. The Academy is full of very gracious members who want you, as is Women In Film.

My advice, for whatever it is worth, is dream big. Accept that while you may not reach every goal, the accomplishments you enjoy along the way are well worth the effort. When you look back on them, you will be surprised to see how far you have come.

Until then, keep dreaming…

DALLAS: The J. R. Ewing School of Economics

(This article was posted originally on June 14, 2012 at the time of the DALLAS television series reboot. Sadly, we have lost the irascible Larry Hagman, J. R. Ewing’s alter ego, but ten years later, “ol’ J.R.’s” lessons in business remain more dependable than ever.
…Melissa J. L. Smith)

Dallas and J.R. Ewing, thank you. Everything that I needed to know about business, I learned from you. Dallas is one of my favorite shows of all time, and not just because I had the privilege of working on the original series during its latter years. The fourteen years I spent with you both as a viewer and/or a participant gave me an invaluable education in avoiding some potholes in business.

I attended more than one university for undergrad and post-graduate education, but never did I obtain the practical, “real world” business education that I learned by watching the Ewings of Dallas. There, in the midst of the centers of “higher learning” , I was better able to prepare myself for the real work force by watching ol’ J.R. wheel and deal.

In no MBA class did I learn the Ewing pearls of wisdom that apply in actual business. Yes, Graduates, there are a lot of people in business who use these rules. Learn them and prepare to encounter people like this in the workforce. (You even may become/or are one of them.) And, definitely review “the rules” as “homework” for watching Dallas, Wednesday nights on TNT. The rules are just an taste of the wheeling and dealing of Dallas.

The Tenets of “The J.R. Ewing School of Business”

1) “Don’t forgive and never forget. Do unto others before they do unto you. Third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves!” (J.R. Ewing as portrayed by the fabulously acerbic Larry Hagman whose “evil smile” I have enjoyed on the TNT promos for the series reboot)

2) “Any man can win when things go his way. It’s the man who overcomes adversity that is the true champion.” (Jock Ewing, [the late, incredible actor, Jim Davis], J.R.’s beloved daddy and founder of Ewing Oil)

3) “Nobody gives you power. Real power is something that you take.” (Jock Ewing)

4) “I have meetings all day with people who don’t know what a shark I am.” (J.R. Ewing)

5) “It’s only slander if it’s not true.” (J.R. Ewing)

6) “There are few things that J.R. Ewing can’t afford, but patience is one of them.” (J.R. Ewing)

7) “Remember who you’re working for, keep a civil tongue in your head, and try to answer questions with a bit of civility.” (J.R. Ewing)

8) “The world is littered with the bodies of the men who tried to stick it to ol’ J.R. Ewing.” (J.R.)

9) “If it comes to it, I’m gonna squish you like the bug you are. (Bobby Ewing [the forever-sexy, Patrick Duffy, who stars in the upcoming TNT reboot])

10) “You wouldn’t be trying to blackmail ol’ J.R., would you?” (J.R. Ewing… can feel Hagman’s evil smile in those words)

11) “If you’re going to climb into bed with J.R. Ewing, you’d better not get cold feet.” (J.R. Ewing)

12) “A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it.” (J.R. Ewing)

13) “Contracts were made to be broken, honey, but a handshake is the law of God.” (J.R. Ewing)

14) “Never tell the truth when a good lie’ll do.” (J.R.)

15) “Revenge is the single most satisfying feeling in the world.” (J.R. Ewing)

16) “Like my daddy alway’s said: if you can’t get in the front door, just go around to the back.” (J.R. quoting Jock Ewing)

17) “Honey, if you wanna hear your answer, you gotta ask the question at the right time. That’s from J.R. Ewing’s handbook.” (J.R. Ewing and a former boss of mine)

18) “Being married to J.R. is like a Hitchcock movie. You start out laughing but soon find yourself screaming in terror.” (Sue Ellen Ewing, portrayed by the beautiful Linda Gray, also returning to the TNT reboot)

19) “J.R. Ewing doesn’t get ulcers… he gives ’em!” (Although I think this quote originally came from Louis B. Mayer, both J.R. and a former boss of mine have used it frequently and proudly.)

20) “Thank you for reminding me of how ethical my brother is. It’s a flaw that will lead to his downfall in the oil business.” (J.R. about his brother, Bobby)

21) “I don’t know how you live with yourself. (Edgar Randolph, portrayed by Martin Brooks). Reply by J.R. Oh, it’s not hard. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. “

22) “I figure I’m learning more from you than I could ever learn in school… How would you feel about me coming to work at Ewing Oil full time? (J.R. laughs) What’s so funny? (son John Ross, then-Omri Katz, now Josh Henderson) “Oh, I’m not laughing at you, son, it’s just that, well… I said the same thing to my daddy when I was your age.” (J.R.)

23) “I heard you love playing cat and mouse.” (Don Lockwood, played by the incredibly versatile, Ian McShane). “Only when I’m the cat. ” (J.R.)

24) “Make it a short lunch, will ya? I hate to answer my own phone.” Cliff Barnes (the underrated, Ken Kerchival).

25) “It [the opera] ain’t over till the fat lady sings.” (J.R. Ewing)

That last quote has gotten me through several jobs. The other twenty-four prepared me for successful interaction with (and occasional suspicion of) the motivation of colleagues, bosses and business associates.

As the mind-meld of Larry Hagman, Executive Producer Lenny Katzman, and a cadre of talented actors, producers, writers and directors, J.R. Ewing has provided me (and others) a roadmap of business survival. Hagman’s ability to survive in the real world through a liver transplant, the loss of his wife of over 55 years, Maj, who struggled through Alzheimer’s, and his current battle with throat cancer, is a tribute to Hagman’s work ethic and loving heart. He has inspired me both professionally and personally.

For those of you not old enough to remember the original Dallas series, I encourage you to watch the new Dallas series on TNT on Tuesday and repeats of the original series on CMT on Thursday, June 14. I doubt that I am the only person influenced by this juggernaut series. Supernatural creator, Eric Kripke’s episode “The Magnificent Seven” has a Dallas episode on the television when Sam and Dean enter a house affected by Sloth in 2008. Auctions have supplied fans with Dallas memorabilia as recently as 2011 when Hagman downsized his home.

Regardless of what leading MBA programs are offering you, you will encounter people who operate business according to the above rules. Beware. These quotes may help you avoid pitfalls and disappointments in business and your personal life.

This landmark show was seen in over 90 countries and for many years in syndication following its last CBS airdate. I glance over as my “stock certificate” from “Ewing Oil”, a gift from the original series (plus earrings from The Oil Barons’ Ball and Miss Ellie’s bedroom chair, a remnant of the fire on Stage 3), I smile my non-evil smile of gratitude that the best business teacher I ever had is making a return to my life in TNT’s new Dallas. I am sure there are lessons left for me to learn.

Merci Mercy Me

Dream Until Your Dreams Come True

DALLAS: The J. R. Ewing School of Economics

Marketing Madness

Invent Content Blog

The Expendable Ex

Dream Until Your Dreams Come True

DALLAS: The J. R. Ewing School of Economics

Marketing Madness

Invent Content Blog

The Expendable Ex

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